Estevan Co 1984-2010

Estevan Co

October 10, 1984- January 26, 2010

It is a great travesty that we did not get to know ‘Es’ better before his life unexpectedly came to an end. He worked nights as a civilian police driver and slept days so we only saw him some evenings before he would leave for work. He was cheerful and joking and because of him we have a table to eat on (Saturnina came over and said Estevan said to let us borrow their table they weren’t using so we don’t have to eat on our laps). His death tore a huge gash in this village’s heart. The following is an account of the days after his death and his funeral.

Monday night (well actually Tuesday morning at 3:00am) I woke up to muffled sobbing. I was tired and didn’t know what to make of it and got up to look through one of the gaps between our boards over to our landlords house. On the veranda I saw most of the family crying. I hurried back to Greg and we got dressed and went outside. By that time there were a few people standing on the sidewalk to their house and Mrs. Choco (from across the street that I always talk to at the creek) came up to us and said, “The boy died.” I was shocked and Greg and I just stood on the side walk with the now growing crowd staring at the grieving family. The mother, Cecilia and one of his brothers, Andres were sobbing. There was a man I did not recognize sitting on a bench outside the door who talked the entire time. I understood he kept talking about Estevan’s head and God. Saturnina, the wife, sat motionless and quiet on the cement wall, sometimes a small stifled sob would slip out. The kids were running around and Murphy came up to me so I held him for a while while he put his head on my shoulder and played with my arm hair. More and more villagers came and at the peek there were about 30 people standing, sometimes quietly discussing, and staring at the family on the veranda. At around 5:30 a.m. Greg and I went to bed (most of the crowd had gone home) the family all stayed up.

We woke up at 6:00 to more crying and we let all the kids come in the house to get out of everyone’s hair. The kids were overtired and hungry so I asked if it would be okay if I made them some tortillas. They said that was fine so I walked to the store with 8 kids trailing and hanging all over me. The man at the shop thought this was hilarious as the kids asked for sweets and Murphy asked for a toy car. I said “jowan!” (wait) and ‘ink’a mas terto,’ no too expensive and the man found this even more funny. I bought 10 pounds flour and peanut butter and we headed back. I saw Mrs. Delphine and told her what happened and that I would be late to school. We entertained the kids with uno and card games as I made 17 tortillas then fed all the kids. I gave the extra ones and the peanut butter to the family. School was hard, I was upset and tired and all the kids still went to school except Estevan’s son Sheldon. Tuesday night we stayed up late…they brought out benches to the yard and everyone just sat around. We put movies on for the kids and we had ages from 1 to adult in our house at one point or another. Fermin asked if we could help type up the ketchi songs for the funeral program. I said of course, so for the next two hours I worked on that. Mr. Ico brought over his laptop so I wouldn’t have to disturb all the subdued children/teenagers by turning off the movie. Periodically Mr. Ico would come in and watch me type, bringing other men in sometimes to stare at how fast I typed. He kept thanking me saying how this would have taking him at least 6 hours. I typed those up and then edited and typed the Eulogy. Greg helped them scan his ID picture and then we called it a night at around 12.

Wednesday night we had a prayer service. Greg had an intro to site presentation in Big Falls I chose not to go so I could get some stuff done and be with the family. When I got home from school I said I had to go to the river and wash. Virginia said that margarita would go with me. For the first 45 minutes it was just the two of us and she told me how her mother was sad, that Sheldon was asking for his dad, how she likes to read now, and that she’s glad we don’t have school and Thursday and Friday. I love Margarita. Margarita finished bathing and washing her uniform, she got dressed and curled up on a dry rock to wait for me. Mrs. Choco and her daughters came down along with a brother and sister from my school and the kids all started playing in the water. They would run up the little bank and up the grass and jump off into the little pool and chase each other trying to tag them. They played for about 15 minutes then the older sister told her brother to start bathing and she got to washing the clothes. I hurried through my wash as fast as I could and got back to the house. Brandon was following me around all evening and started to call me mom. In ketchi he would say, “mom, where are we going now?” Or, “Mom I want to watch a movie.” His friends and cousins were making fun of him but he would just hug me. He is a very good boy, but I am trying to get him out of that habit. I kicked all the kids out of the house so I could straighten up and make tortillas before Greg got home. Brandon made sure everyone left then quietly sat beside me on the floor as I mixed my tortilla dough.

After Greg got home we ate and then went over to the house for the prayer service. Just like with the old man everything in the house was pushed aside and about 15 benches were lined up. An electric keyboard and a guitar supplied the music as we sang song after song. The house was already filled when we came over so we sat outside. Much to my delight, Laticia (the 19 year old PTA chairman’s daughter) saw me and came to sit next to me. We all sat on a bench on the porch and looked in through the window and door. Kids lined up behind the porch wall and sang with us. We all had to raise our books and constantly shift them to catch the light from the moon inbetween the kids shadows. The benches in the yard and the step around the cosine were all packed with people too. After we finished the service the family silently passed out bowls of a warm delicious oat drink. I had heard of this but not tasted it yet. It is sort of like oatmeal but watered down. It was a quiet time of reflection as we all slowly sipped our warm oat drink in the cool night air. After everyone finished…people chatted for a while and slowly started to go home. We stayed out with the family and at around 11:30 they passed out bowls of coffee and bread and Murphy ran between Greg and I to alternate sitting in our laps.

Thursday we went in town to get our H1N1 shot and came back after 'the body' as everyone called it reached (got to their house). They just finished serving everyone bowls of soup with tortillas and there were empty bowls all over the lawn that the dogs stole out of the trash. We put our stuff away and then we went to view the body. His casket was set on two cinder blocks with six candles surrounding it. The sent of incense was strong as we approached the beautiful coffin. The lid was off and leaned up against one side. You could see his whole body, swollen from the embalming. It was awful looking down at that young man, 8 month younger than myself, knowing he left his wife and two small boys. The people would come and crowd the coffin and someone would take off the handkerchief covering his face, then another would lift up the snow cap they put on his head to cover the Frankenstein stitches that covered the whole left side of his head. His shoes laid beside his white sock clad feet...too swollen to put on. He had on his wedding suit.

After 3 hours of staring at the body, as more and more family arrived it dawned on us that they would all be sleeping in the one house and the cosine. We offered our house for their family and they accepted after we insisted it was no trouble. We cleaned up the place and caught a late bus into town...we would be back for the funeral the next day at 1:00.

In Belize...taking pictures of the decesased love one, or video is accepted and normal. Perhaps because there are often so few pictures during life so this is truely the last time they will see them. Since Estevan was a civilian police driver they gave him a state funeral. About 20 police and the superintendent came and marched and showed their support. They also brought the police band which played several somber songs as they transported the coffin from the house to the church in the police pick up truck.

There were close to 600 people (which shows a lot since the whole village is only about 500) in attendance. The church was packed to capacity well before we walked over with the large crowd from the house. We stood outside the church, trying to get the little big of shade on the side of the building as we listened to the service through the wood slat windows. People lined the church yard and all neighboring houses and shops.

After the service they loaded the coffin back into the pick up and stopped on the road. The family was allowed to walk right behind and then the 20 police (in full uniform) marched in unison behind. After they passed the crowds quietly fell in behind. We were at the end and it was quite a site to see that amount of people walking in silence to the grave site.

It had been rainy and the hike up to the grave was slippery. Everyone made their way, helping each other as the need arose. Everyone gathered around his freshly laid tomb, climbing on top of old tombs to get a better look. The priests did a final prayer, then the casket was lowered into the tomb. Then two police passed the baby, then Sheldon back and forth over the head of their father's casket three times. The baby screamed the whole time and Sheldon just let out a little grunt each time he was handed off, glancing down as he passed over his father. Then they began to cement the tomb, right there as we watched. Again I am left with the thought that death is so much more real here. It's in your face and hard, and a seemingly constant part of life. I will miss Estevan's laugh and his constant banter with his brothers. I will miss saying good evening as he heads off to work. I will miss seeing Sheldon running to jump on his lap when he's laying in the hammock. And I know that he will be missed terribly by his family and friends.